Banging Beirut

Needless to say, you probably have seen the news about the jolly old car bombs going off here. The odd thing is no one is owning up. You'd think if you cause havoc, debris, and death in the name of some cause, you'd have the decency to take responsibility. That's what the IRA used to do in London. But oh no not here - they keep you guessing.
The mysterious bombers are placing suitcases under cars during the night, only in Christian areas. Thankfully, I live in the Muslim district of Hamra - ok, my apartment is on a Greek Orthodox street but we are surrounded by 'hijab-land' so should be ok.
Every now and then the anarchy of Lebanon gets to me. What do I mean? I'll give you a few examples
....traffic - no rules WHATSOEVER...drive on whatever side of the road you want - totally ignore traffic lights - and drinking and driving is positively a national pastime.
My mate Rosie took her fathers $45,000 Cadillac for a spin one night and ended up flying through the air over an intersection right next to where the Hariri bombsite is. Soldiers ran over thinking it was another attack. When they discovered it was a young girlie, they turned all protective - offering to cover up the whole accident and pretend it was a hit and run.
...work - "If you don't shut up, I will dip your ears in yoghurt, tie you up and feed you to the rats." That's what my dear former employer (nickname Ramzi El Hara - Ramzi the shit) told another former employee who like me has escaped the wrath of the halitosis monster. HR management is an undiscovered concept in this part of the world.
...money - Getting people to pay for work undertaken is like getting blood out of a stone. To date, I have written off nearly $10,000 of unpaid fees.
...respect for the opposite sex - the 19 year old nipper who had a millisecond grab of my right boob in the back of a taxi one day (before I wacked him one big-stylie) took it one step further. But if you are blonde, blue-eyed and 6 foot tall, the dirty old men of Lebanon (and believe you me there are squadrons of them) think you are Russian (translation - whore). I have taken it upon myself to campaign for the rights of anonymity whilst walking down the street by confronting ANYONE who makes a lurid comment or leer by shouting 'Arraf' which is a combination of disgusting and shame-on-you. So far, this has been quite effective!
...narcissm - I have never been anywhere in the world where people love themselves soooo much. Today in the female locker room of my gym, a young woman sat waiting for her friends. To while away the good 10 minutes, she sat staring at herself in the mirror, taking different poses to see which one looked most alluring.

So I'm escaping to Abu Dhabi for a few days to see Boyo. Desert logic, that's Abu Dhabi. Nicely structured, clean but very very hot!

But there are many good things about Beirut....
the madness - as you can imagine, every day brings a new challenge and bizarre situations.
the spirit - the mediterranean strive for life is alive and kicking here
the luxury - where else could I hop on a speedboat, chill by a pool, workout in a 5-star spa/gym for almost nothing, dine at the most fabulous restaurants and drink the most fantastic cocktails
the friends - from ghostwriter Jihad, to the whiplash twins (Marti & Janmarie), beauty princess Irene and her mum Margot, web addicted copywriter Helen, and His Lord High Excellency Captain Peter. Need I say more.